Church of the Empty Nest

IMG_20160124_101358_598I went to church today
The church of the empty nest
The church of the unbroken snow
The church of the bare trees
I went to church today and felt
Deeply felt
My heart
My soul
My voice
Deeply deeply felt
The silence of the newly fallen snow
I felt, deeper, even deeper
Not just in the snow,
In the new fallen snow,
But a path
through my heart
through my soul
In this holy church,
This church of the holy trees
Holy river
I feel a loss
Of being a mother
Of how afraid I was
Of how I was told
Over and over again and again
How I was not good enough
Not enough

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I remember those times
As a mother
How I didn’t know
But was told
In every way
I was not good enough
Especially for my gender
Not being good enough
To please
Satisfy
Others
To care for others
Enough
Now, I know in this holy church
I am loved
Appreciated
For my love, playfulness, forgiveness
How I wish I had those traits
When I was younger
When I was afraid

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In this church
Of the holy sacredness
There is no time
No schedule
No first service
Later service
Or Saturday evening service
There is just going outside
Looking to the sky
Looking to the earth
Looking to the east and the sun
Looking to the west and the trees
Looking into a neighbor’s eyes
Looking into your heart
I went to church and
I served my soul

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2 thoughts on “Church of the Empty Nest

  1. So pleased in the return of your original nature – of awareness, and therefore control and power. Adversity is unavoidable and intentions may not be clear, but kindness and forgiveness usually prevail. Peace is possible in deep reflection and right mindfulness…

    • Yes, kindness and forgiveness prevail. I also believe we are all connected, and am aware of the many ways women are still treated as not enough. Giving voice to that awareness will hopefully give women the courage to return to their original nature.

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