I let the words settle, slowly. The vibration of their energy moves down my throat and into my gut. Of course, I’d like to give voice to the words, to accentuate my anger. Wisdom intervenes and the words are absorbed. Silence prevents me from having to swallow my pride after releasing the distortion of my emotion. I rely on the tools I’ve learned to respond with intention rather than reaction.
There was a time when the distance from my ears, hearing a word, to my mouth responding with a word, was done without the benefit of breath. This time, I listen, breathe, feel, think and then, with intention, choose silence. I want my words to have meaning, to express my truth. At this moment, every part of my body tells me I will not be heard or understood. It’s not that I feel speaking will be a waste of energy. I simply want to choose the type of energy expressed with words. This time, giving voice to the words would only result in manipulation, misunderstanding and hurt. I do not want my words to result in harm. I have all too many experiences and consequences as a result of harmful words.
With silence my breathing relaxes, lengthens. The anger dissipates and other emotions are acknowledged. I do my best to calm my voice and strengthen my determination to unravel the conflict. “I heard you say…. now help me understand.”